SCP-4666-J - SCP Foundation (2024)

DISCLAIMER: On 8/10/2023, someone replaced the article for SCP-4666 with this. This article is only kept for archive purposes. Whoever was responsible for this will be terminated.

Item #: SCP-4666-J

Object Class: Jolly

Special Containment Procedures: Web traffic and law enforcement channels worldwide are to be monitored for evidence of SCP-4666-J activity so we can help him make sure he spreads Christmas joy everywhere (as long as it meets his overly specific criteria) and doesn’t forget anyone. That would make them sad.

Should a house be missed, which is referred to as a “Scheiße, ich habe es verpasst”¹ event, the location of the house that was missed must be revealed to SCP-4666-J at once.

Media coverage of family deaths attributed to SCP-4666-J is, pardon my French, complete bullsh*t. Any “evidence” that SCP-4666-J has ever harmed anyone is fake and should be incinerated.

Description: SCP-4666-J is a gift-delivering humanoid entity that is made out of pure happiness and Christmas cheer. Those who have witnessed his presence describe it as a sweet and kind elderly normal human who just happens to be 2 meters tall and doesn’t wear anything except for a Christmas-themed hat.

The nature and extent of its anomalous properties remains unknown, however, it does appear to be capable of instantaneous travel to anywhere north of 40°N latitude.

SCP-4666-J is only active during 12 days of the year, from the night of December 21 (or 22 if he feels like it) to the night of January 1-2. During this phase, SCP-4666-J will deliver gifts to everyone north of 40°N latitude who happens to be trapped in their dwelling by snow with a child under the age of 8 in the house in an isolated rural area where no one will hear their screams. Screams of joy, of course. SCP-4666-J would never harm anyone.

SCP-4666-J’s gift delivery consists of the following general progression:

Nights 1-7: Children will report seeing SCP-4666-J prepare their special gifts. He’s not perfect, okay? Thankfully, the surprise isn’t ruined, as they can’t see what the special gift is, and SCP-4666-J will move the gift-making to another spot as soon as it is seen.

Nights 8-11: SCP-4666-J will move to the family’s attic or roof, making a bit of noise. The gift may cause a bad smell to be noticed inside the dwelling. The parents may think they’re being stalked, which is kind of true.

The Twelfth Day Night of Christmas: Over the course of the night, one of two scenarios will occur:
The first, and most common, is that SCP-4666-J will gently make everyone in the family (except for one child under the age of 8) fall asleep, and then give the youngest child a very exclusive and exciting work opportunity. I’m sure it’ll look great on their transcript! In fact, 90% of children given this work opportunity are accepted into an Ivy League school!
If SCP-4666-J is unable to provide the exciting work opportunity, which could be for a variety of reasons, it will leave behind some gifts as compensation. Family members will hear footsteps throughout the night, but there will be no property damage. This happens about 15% of the time.

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Discovery: SCP-4666-J was discovered in 1974 when it made a slight f*ck-up and accidentally got detected by some “signature recognition program.” It has existed since at least 1498 and tries to deliver gifts to as many dwellings as possible. As long as those dwellings have at least one child under the age of 8, are in an isolated rural area further north than 40°N, and are surrounded by snow that would prevent anyone from leaving the house. With these perfectly normal criteria, its record is 5 in a night. SCP-4666-J leaves fingerprints everywhere, which is a huge liability. It is working on potentially obtaining gloves.

Addendum 4666-J-01:
On the night of 1/2/2018, SCP-4666-J accidentally left his bag of gifts at a house in Hoonah, Alaska. This bag had a child in it who had accidentally climbed into the gift bag while at work. They ended up having to go to the hospital due to unfortunate circ*mstances that had nothing to do with SCP-4666-J. This child was interviewed by a Foundation researcher. Here is the transcript of the interview.

Addendum 4666-J-02:
On the night of 1/2/2024, a Weissnacht event resulted in the death of a family of 5 in Reykjavik, Iceland, with the youngest child being abducted. Meanwhile, at the neighbor's house, the youngest child went missing³ and some strange gifts were found. These gifts included Christmas-themed socks, an Olive Garden gift card⁴, and a note saying "I hope yall enjoy these gifts sorry my asshole brother whacked your neighbors." However, most importantly of all, a book titled "Learn Russian in 5 seconds" was found by the Christmas tree. After 5 seconds of reading it, every member of the household suddenly became fluent in Russian, even though none of them had ever known how to speak it. This book has been confiscated.

You know, I'm actually fine with what happened to my neighbors. Can't complain to the HOA if you're dead, да?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀-Jón Smith, resident of the home that may have been visited by SCP-4666-J.

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Due to the similarities this incident has with SCP-4666-J's "gift delivery," this article, previously marked as vandalism, has been unarchived.